Around and Around we Go

"Lets twirl," she said.

They spun with smiles brighter than summer days,

with smiles resembling flowers in May.

Blooming and shooting through nooks and cranny's.

Illuminating all that touches their eyes.

They spun, they spun.

Underneath the afternoon sun.

They twirled until the world kept spinning,

and they were on their knees.

They pleaded, they pleaded.

For more movement, and warm sun.

They begged the sun to spin along.

Arise, now asleep.

Good night, they weep.

Their dizzy spells have come to an end.

Good night they whimpered, into dented pillows.

They yawn and rest their heads.
"To bed, to bed," she said.

Photograph derived from: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9hantzjY71rf0ueio1_500.jpg

A Siren's Lullaby

Your call dost beseech my stay,

It dost me blind.

In clamant searching of sight,

I'm lost.

Despite this telescopic lens of mine.

My dreams are frequented by lullabies,

Frequented by nectarous wails.

The songs of pain and sorrowful woes.

The wails of feverish stains.

Upon which thy leave no soulful men,

Upon which thy leave no comfort.

What I doth not see, from the watcher's eye

Is an unintended fate,

Your birth right to nurture endless doom,

To all these loving eyes.

Overtime

I run and hide, 
She ran and hid.

I've lost myself,
She's lost herself.

It's all but gone,
She's all but gone.

I can't move on,
She's stuck in place.

I've lost myself,
She's fallen from grace.

I'm running.
She's hiding.

I'm searching,
She's lost.

I'm losing her.
She's gone.

I'm stuck here alone,
She is no more.

The contents of Summer 2012...so far

• Concert virginity is lost
• Broken Hearted
• Healed Heart
• Broken home-life
• Placement achieved
• Met new people (Yay! fighting my introversion)
• Made-out with stranger x_X
• Went dancing multiple, multiple times
• Got drunk multiple times
• First rave
• First beach rave
• Crunk for 2 days in a row
• Got my first placement
• Got my first 3 As in College
• Boosted GPA *dances*
• Managed 50+ hour work week
• Made amends with the past
• Rekindled relationship with sister
• Lost self-esteem
• Gained Self-esteem
• Met someone special <3 font="font">
• Fell in love again

The end.

Running on Empty

What do you do, when your soul's running on empty.
What do you say, when there's no one to hear you scream.
How do you wake up each morning, when there's nothing to look forward to each day.
How to you stop these tears from running, when all you feel is pain.

Where do you run to, when you have no where to go.
What do you reach for, when you're stuck on your knees.
How do you ask for help, when no one can look past your smile.
How do you get this to end? 

Why does it bother me?

I write to get my thoughts out of my head.
It probably has horrible grammar, and sentence structure.
It probably doesn't make sense to anyone else.
But these are my thoughts that want to get out for me to reread and see in front of me.


So, why does it bother me when people I associate with laugh at the mention of blogs, or diaries, or books that store blurbs, whatever you may like to call it.


On a side note, why am I so friggin' awkward.
I am an awkward person and I am a lonely awkward person.
I have friends, acquaintances, and I think I have figured people out, but I do not have emotional connections with any of these people. I cannot ramble about my being inside and out.
I cannot do the simplistic without getting weird looks.
I am twenty-two years old, and I am still a broke student figuring shit out, while my nineteen year old sister works a full-time job at a kiosk that get's showered with everything she desires by my parents.
Given I have friends, she has acquaintances. I am single, she is still dating someone who's cheated on her 8 times. She gets the car, and I get to use public transit and pay for my own schooling...
Envy...yeah that's what I feel. Envy because she gets to get away with it and I don't. It aggravates me.


Anyway...that's all for my mind puke today... back to organizing my notes.

'Till the day I drop dead

'Till the day I drop dead,
I will not leave pages vacant and unfed.


Distractions will obscure the vision in my head,
Enemies will find time to disrupt,
But 'till the day I do drop dead-
This river will not dry, the pages will not starve.
At least for peace of my own mind, my story will be recorded
and hopefully read.