Lets talk.
Well more like let my fingers do the talking while your eyes do the reading, and perhaps if persuaded enough by curiosity or your desire to share, you will be speaking in response, with your fingers.
During my absence in this virtual world of thought-sharing, I have come to realize that my occupancy in the whole process of living is distracting myself from the process of recording findings and recording such findings for future or past recollection or reference. After all, one of the affordable ways you can monitor growth and change is through recording events and experience is it not? I find myself doing this less and less, especially with photographs. I've completely cut down on photograph taking in comparison to my last few years, especially in the summertime.
So a lot has taken place.
I've gone on a few dates, I've met a few great people, and I've regretted meeting some people, then found reason in meeting those people. Haha. I'm still understanding and developing myself. I've realized I'm severely attracted to girls. Big woe.
I've gone on a few dates, I've met a few great people, and I've regretted meeting some people, then found reason in meeting those people. Haha. I'm still understanding and developing myself. I've realized I'm severely attracted to girls. Big woe.
I have also began to understand the reasons for occurrences far more rapidly.
I'm passionate, I am motivated, I am ecstatic.
I find myself controlling my mentality more. Frequent-idle thoughts can sometimes distract and destroy oneself and it used to be my main enemy. Paranoid thoughts.
I'm just glad I am where I am, and I'm hoping this balance will continue.
I've also found myself searching for peaceful endings.
Peaceful endings as in to friendships, and relationships from the past.
I've retraced my footsteps and attempted to make peace with a lot of these individuals. I still have a few on my mental list... my bestie thinks I'm losing my mind. I think I'm losing my mind for giving a crap... I don't know though, I really don't know. Perhaps I'm trying to clear my conscience? Or my intuition is trying to let me know it's the end of the line for me and I'm dying...
Yes, my brain ALWAYS thinks of crazy sh*t. Sober.
Oh well!
Lets.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures you take are a pull-tab on your book of life. Every image has a string tied to a memory of a place or person. Don't let life get the better of you. In my line of work, I have to take a lot of photographs and it's become a sort of annoying second nature to whip out a camera or phone at any chance. Not everyone sees the beauty of a moment frozen in time the same way I do. I get some pretty nasty glares.
No big woe. Hey, who knows, maybe you've just gotten tired of the typical, maybe it's just a phase. In the end it just may be who you've been all along. Just more food for thought to digest here.
If you think too little you make mistakes, if you think too much you do nothing. Have to find that balance.
If I was your close friend I'd probably think you where suffering a midlife crisis of some sort. I can't judge you though, I've done the same. In the end I found myself faced with one last person, and a promise I made to myself in my youth. I've made amends as best I could and in some cases even turned over a new leaf and become friends, but the end of the line for me was the promise. That one person I told myself I would not make a move towards. If that one person would ever make a move towards me, a word, a message, a whisper; I would gladly reply. As things are, that day will never come, and years ago I grew to accept that.
'Till the day you drop dead, the page lies bare ahead of you, waiting for you to draw your own future.
Haha, I enjoyed that annoying instinct though! Even though some people around me would call me a "tourist" cause I'd whip my camera out while crossing the street or using a public washroom, I wash my hands first of course x_x
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure, I've always been drawn to females, but always in a visual way, and recently the physical exploration is not affecting me negatively as yet. But I am letting it digest.
I've always been an extremist. Always stuck with too much or too little.
It would be sad if this was a midlife crisis, even though I've always convinced myself I'd have a short, short life.