Why does it bother me?

I write to get my thoughts out of my head.
It probably has horrible grammar, and sentence structure.
It probably doesn't make sense to anyone else.
But these are my thoughts that want to get out for me to reread and see in front of me.


So, why does it bother me when people I associate with laugh at the mention of blogs, or diaries, or books that store blurbs, whatever you may like to call it.


On a side note, why am I so friggin' awkward.
I am an awkward person and I am a lonely awkward person.
I have friends, acquaintances, and I think I have figured people out, but I do not have emotional connections with any of these people. I cannot ramble about my being inside and out.
I cannot do the simplistic without getting weird looks.
I am twenty-two years old, and I am still a broke student figuring shit out, while my nineteen year old sister works a full-time job at a kiosk that get's showered with everything she desires by my parents.
Given I have friends, she has acquaintances. I am single, she is still dating someone who's cheated on her 8 times. She gets the car, and I get to use public transit and pay for my own schooling...
Envy...yeah that's what I feel. Envy because she gets to get away with it and I don't. It aggravates me.


Anyway...that's all for my mind puke today... back to organizing my notes.